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Love's Question


Ever since my November blog post, I have been meaning to write a kind of “sister poem” to the one I posted then… The original idea was to publish it the next month.

But it’s been complicated. There were two parts to that theme, but the first part involved writing about myself. That’s easy enough… At least I only have myself to confront.

But the other half of that poem would involve writing about other people - specifically, about women I have been with in my life. And generally, I don’t like to go into anyone else’s life and stories - I don’t feel like I have a right to do that.

It does fascinate me that what we call “enlightenment” is to truly explore SELF; while what we call LOVE is to truly explore OTHER, or if you like, CONNECTION. I believe these are the two great mysteries of the universe.


So I am very reluctant to get specific - in public - about my experiences with connection.

But then… I like to think… Haven’t we all been through a lot of the same things, anyway?


I mean…

She loves me, she loves me not…

How to get her attention,

How to talk to her when she doesn’t even know me;

How to impress, how to approach, how to please;

How to dance, how to sing, how to play,

Where to get dinner, what to order, who should pay,

What to talk about, what to say, how much to say it;

When to call, when not to call,

When can I see you again?


Where to go, what to do;

How often, how much, how far, how fast;

How to touch, how to kiss, how to hold, how to move,

How was that?


What now?

Where to?


Which questions even matter, and which of them are just fears?

What am I supposed to know, and what am I allowed to figure out?

What am I allowed to ask about?

What am I allowed to share?

How many mistakes do I get to make before this falls apart?


She loves me, she loves me not….

Before, she didn’t even know me.

Now that she does… How do I talk to her now?

Love seems to throw a lot at you,

But if you ask me,

It all boils down to just one question:


Do you have space for what you are feeling?

Do you have space…


For what you are feeling?



The rest tends to figure itself out…


Over time.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody :)



Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez, Pexels

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